Edward's Pecs
by la saboteuse
Summary: This was actually first written in jest; my friend was bored, and I joked about writing a story about Edward's muscles--then I thought, 'Hey, why not? I'll try it' It has since evolved. So, check it out! It will put marvelous pictures in your head!
1. Edward's Pecs

Ed's Pecs

**Disclaimer: I owneth not Edward, nor his glorious pectorals! These things, and so much more, doth belong to the acclaim-ed Stephenie Meyer, whose kindness hath thankfully extended to allowing her devoted fans to make use of her delectable world without fear of copyright infringement.**

**Note:This collective conglomoration of spiffy words is hereby dedicated to Savina, without whom this never would have come to be.**

**Edward's Pecs**

"Bella, what do you like better--abs, biceps, or pecs?" Edward was curious to know.

Bella thought for a moment, then asked, "Well, do you mean _your _abs, biceps, ad pecs, or just abs, biceps, and pecs in general?"

Edward smiled, glad that she was taking it so seriously; after all, it was a fairly important matter, and, at first, he thought she might laugh at him for asking--but, then, she rarely did what he expected.

"Whichever you prefer. Would it really make that much difference?" he queried, suddenly unsure.

Again, Bella considered her words carefully before answering; this was a delicate situation in regards to male pride, and could not be taken lightly. "I suppose not, since I would just be thinking of you anyway."

That seemed to please him--he grinned smugly, satisfied that Bella was his woman!

"So," he prompted, "which do you like best?"

Bella pursed her lips, then beamed innocently at her vampire-lover.

"Umm...you know...it _would _be easier to decide if I had a _visual _reference for comparison," she hinted slyly.

Edward smirked, and took off his shirt, suppressing a chuckle when he heard Bella's sharp intake of breath.

"Well?" he asked.

Bella's eyes roamed greedily over the manly expanse of Edward's smooth, well-muscled stomach, chest and shoulders, making a valiant--yet fruitless--attempt to continue breathing properly.

Finally, she spluttered, "U-um, p-pecs."

Then, she passed out from Edward-loveliness over-load.

**A/N: Yeah, I know, it was kinda silly--reeeaally silly, actually, and totally absurd--but you have to admit that it put a rather lovely picture in your head!**

**This is almost exactly like the original draft, which was written in about ten minutes--in a _car._ It was actually for Savina's entertainment, so you may thank her for this estrogen-induced insanity.**

**Love y'all! And thanks once more to You'reDazzlingMeAgain for being awesome and nominating 'Butter!' for Best Characterization, Best Romance, and Best Edward/Bella Pairing in the Twilight Awards!**


	2. Lips

**A/N: I know it's been a long time...and this has little to nothing to do with the previous chapter...and it's short...please forgive and R&R anyway!! Please?**

**Bella's Lips**

One day, as Edward lighted through the window of Bella's room, he caught Bella staring at her reflection in a melancholy way.

"Bella, love, what is it?"

She turned with a gasp, surprised by his sudden appearance, and nearly fell over. Edward caught her deftly in his arms, and would have chuckled were he not so concerned about her doleful visage.

Bella was momentarily breathless, having been totally unprepared for his nearness.

"Bella?"

She sucked in a lung-ful of air.

"Oh, nothing, I was just...nothing."

Edward raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Really?"

She rolled her eyes disparagingly.

"Yes, really."

"Then why were you frowning?"

Bella opened her mouth, then closed it again. Her brow furrowed as she attempted to think of an acceptable explanation. A little late, she replied, "What? Do I have to be smiling all the time? It's not that big a deal if I frown a little, Edward."

Carefully, he grasped her small shoulders, looking her squarely in the eye.

"Bella," he murmured persuasively, "you were frowning at your _reflection._ Someone as lovely as yourself would need a _very _good reason for that."

She flushed at his casual compliment, but shifted her gaze to the floor. Edward moved one of his hands to lift her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes.

After furiously blinking away her bedazzlement, she wilted and gave in.

"Alright, alright...I was just...well...okay, it's my lips!"

Edward's automatic response to the mention of that part of her anatomy was to smile, but he quickly became puzzled and frustrated.

"What about them? They seem perfectly wonderful to me."

Bella sighed exasperatedly. Of course he would say something ridiculously blush-inducing like that. She sought to explain.

"Edward, look!" He certainly was looking already, and quite happily, too, so she continued. "The top one is fuller than the bottom one!" she all but wailed.

Edward smiled and shrugged.

"I know."

He could tell that Bella was about to say something degrading of herself, so he cut her off.

"And it's one of the things I like most about you physically."

Bella was terribly confused.

"What..._why?_"

Edward looked intently at her, eyes scorching.

"Bella, think about it," he told her softly, gently. "_My lower _lip is fuller than my upper lip."

Bella would have rolled her eyes had she not been so utterly transfixed by him. That didn't stop her from thinking sarcastically that it was exactly her point--that Edward was perfect and she had nothing to offer him.

Edward could see that her thoughts weren't headed in the right direction.

"So," he went on, smiling, "when we kiss...it's perfect. A perfect fit."

Bella's eyes widened at the discovery as Edward grinned crookedly.

"Oh."

Edward pulled her to him closely, resting his hands at the small of her back.

"Would you like me to demonstrate?"

Finally, Bella beamed, nodding.

She never complained about her lips again.

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**Thanks for reading! Please tell me what you thought and whether or not I should ever add more!**


	3. Edward's Smile

**A/N: Hey! You guys have been AWESOME! I got more reviews than I expected, and they all made me very happy. Thank you!**

**Edward's smile:(heh-heh, we all know how devastating this feature can be)**

One fine evening, Edward and Bella were in the Volvo, on their way to our favorite male vampire's humble abode. Bella was actually reluctant to join him on this excursion, the reason being that the afore-mentioned incredibly masculine vampire had told her that he had a surprise for her there. Naturally, Bella resisted. Then, however, he smiled endearingly, crookedly, and--wouldn't you know it--she gave in.

In the car, he continued to smile.

Bella glared accusatorily.

"You're doing that on purpose," she grumped somewhat childishly.

Edward, seemingly innocent and confused, responded, "Excuse me?"

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Oh, come on. That drives me crazy, and you know it!"

His grin radiated with replenished self-satisfaction.

"Really?"

With an air of slight irritability, she returned, "Oh, hush. And stop that!"

Edward, still smiling, had the nerve to ask, "Stop what?"

She was now officially fed up.

"Urgh! See?! I was right! You know _exactly _what you're doing to me!"

Edward, on the other hand, was struggling vainly to contain his amusement.

"Oh, right, sorry. I'll just try not to smile at you so often--which will _not_ be at all easy, I hope you know."

How could one person be so adorably frustrating? Not to mention, frustratingly adorable, and irrepressably attractive, and irresistably smirksome...

"Maybe it's not just that you smile, it's...it's _that_ smile. The persuasive and impossibly--well, you know. _That _one."

He was grinning madly now, and not at all able to restrain himself.

"Well, how about this one?"

He soberered somewhat, beaming simply with no crookedness whatsoever.

Bella about melted.

"Or...this one?"

His face transformed into the epitome of angelic happiness.

"Maybe it's not just that _one_ smile," she admitted dazedly.

"Are you sure?"

Bella nodded distantly, her eyes glazed over with some dream-like quality. Then she noticed that Edward was still looking at her, and she promptly snapped out of it.

"Hey! Keep your eyes on the road!"

Edward chuckled, but complied--for a time.

Realization dawned suddenly on our dear heroine(no pun intended).

"Hey, maybe it's not that, either...it could just be the fact that you're _looking _at me..."

Edward smirked.

"Really now."

He glanced over, meeting her gaze.

Bella was mesmerized for a few minutes, then started in surprise at their arrival to the Cullens' when Edward was suddenly at her door, ready and willing to help her out. She couldn't believe he had held near constant eye-contact with her the entire drive.

"You--you--"

Edward's eyes gleamed with merriment.

"Yes?"

She couldn't think of any words that would be sufficient, and finally ended up with--

"Bah!"

He just chuckled.

Bella stomped toward the house--really a useless thing to do, walking away from a vampire; he could always catch up.

Sure enough, he was at the front of the house, holding the door open for her.

Bella glared, then said sullenly, "So. What's the surprise."

Edward laughed, then grinned mischievously.

"A conveniently empty house. Like it?"

Bella, ecstatic, smiled and threw her arms around her elated soul mate.

"_Yes!"_

Edward then swept Bella away to his room in a putrescently sappy and romantic fashion so that they could participate in various private activities which will remain respectfully unmentioned at this time.

**;D**

**Oh, alright, if you _must_ know what they're up to...review and convince me to tell you! Mwah-hah-hah!**

**('smirksome', by the way, is MY word! Don't you love it? It's so Edward!)**


	4. Bella's Throat

**Bella's Throat (hee-hee, I'm so corny...)**

**Previously…**

_Edward then swept Bella away to his room in a putrescently sappy and romantic fashion so that they could participate in various private activities, which will remain respectfully unmentioned at this time._

* * *

_**Okay, I told you I might be convinced to reveal their 'activities' to you if I was properly persuaded…and I did get a few requests, so…**_

_**They kissed! Duh!**_

**Heh-heh, J/K, I shall go into a little more detail…**

* * *

Upon entering the room, the couple felt an undeniable surge of excitement; only rarely were they this truly alone.

Bella experienced a thrill as they appeared comfortably on the couch, Edward grinning in that previously infuriating and crooked manner.

He held her close, whispering, "Now, next time I tell you I have a surprise, perhaps you will react more positively, love."

She only nodded and pulled him into a grateful kiss. To her surprise, Edward took it further, pressing his hand on her lower back and allowing Bella to knot her fingers in his impossibly unruly hair. He leaned back a little and turned them on their sides, then, before Bella could endanger herself by forgetting that she needed air, began gifting her neck with sweet, lingering kisses.

The room was surprisingly warm; Edward must have heated it beforehand..., which meant...

Bella leaned back slightly so that she could better concentrate on breathing properly.

"Edward, how long do we have before they come back?"

He glanced up through thick lashes and smiled.

"Three days."

Her eyes widened, and she smiled back at him.

"Really?"

Ah, the things they could do in their free time...

Edward went back to worshipping her throat.

"Mm-hmm. Now be quiet; I'm concentrating."

Bella's smile widened once more. _Concentrating, _eh?

Ever so slowly, Bella's hands detangled themselves from his hair to slide smoothly down his neck to his shoulders. Edward suppressed a shudder.

Several minutes later, the couple settled comfortably on the sofa, Edward holding Bella on his lap while she recovered from her hyperventilation…

"Edward…?"

"Hmm?"

"You do know it's pretty amazing that I don't have, like, a gazillion hickies, right?"

Edward chuckled, and Bella could feel the vibrations from his chest on her back.

"Believe you me; I've taken extreme care to keep it that way."

"Huh."

She shifted so that she was a little closer to him.

"Why is that?" she asked, almost to herself.

"Why is what?"

"Well, I was just thinking…" Bella began hesitantly; she half wished that she hadn't said anything.

"Yes?" Edward prompted, curiosity burning in his tone.

"Um, well, you spend an awful lot of time on my neck…"

Edward chortled lightly.

"I suppose you're right. You have the most excellent throat, Bella; it very clearly demands attention, and I am only too willing to oblige."

She flushed and giggled.

"So, what, my neck has a personality?" she asked, turning a bit so that she could look up at him. He repositioned them and gazed at her with a mock-serious expression.

"A very insistent one, I might add."

She shook her head wonderingly.

"And you say that I'm absurd."

"Oh, you are," he assured her. "Remember, it's your neck that has the personality, ergo, you are the adorable oddity and epitome of absurdity here."

She rolled her eyes at his logic.

"Oh, when you put it that way," she returned sarcastically. "Have any other parts of me made absurd requests? Or is it only my jugular that you are able to interpret for?"

Edward growled softly, "I do not believe that your magnificent throat is alone in its demanding nature, nor its irresistibility."

Shivers ran uncontrollably up and down Bella's spine, and her heart and lungs began working double-time. These symptoms only increased when Edward began to place careful, strategic kisses along her neck, at her jaw, and just behind her ear. Finally, he captured her lips in a gentle caress, keeping it cautiously slow and easy, yet still amazingly tender and quite thoroughly enjoyable.

After a time, she spoke into his lips, murmuring, "I love you, Edward…so much."

He responded, "I love you, too…my Bella…my angel…"

With that, he deepened the kiss, and thus began one of the most wonderful weekends in the history of couple-dom.

* * *

**Hope that you liked it!**

**Please review and tell me if you were disappointed, or if you enjoyed it.**

**Suggestions welcome.**


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